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FOR JOHN SMITH AND JANE DOE

by Brian Habit

OTHER ASPECTS INVOLVING YOUR VENUS OR JANE’S VENUS

Jane’s Venus opposes your Saturn.

The good news about a Venus-Saturn connection, even an opposition like this one, is that it helps two people stay with a relationship long enough to build something durable. Saturn motivates us to make a serious commitment, to hang in their over the long run, rather than simply be “fair weather friends” for each other. Any relationship worth its salt is going to hit some rough times, times that require patience and determination, and those are distinctly Saturnian gifts. 

The bad news about a Venus-Saturn connection is that, if we’re not careful, it can be like having the flu while we’re at work or even on vacation. Venus is that part of us that wants to have fun, that enjoys beautiful sunsets and beautiful musical and time spent together. Saturn often shows up as some sort of limiting factor in life, something that structures a situation and defines our options within in. Saturn reminds us that we have limited time, physical stamina, and other precious resources to work with. He points out how we can’t have everything at once.

In this case, you could be like the flu--an element that limits how much control or enjoyment Jane can have in a situation. Somehow it’s harder for Jane to let her hair down, relax, and even be sexually responsive when she’s around you. This Venus-Saturn opposition reinforces what we saw earlier with the Sun-Saturn opposition. The main difference is that with the former, it’s Jane’s sense of pleasure that’s under pressure, whereas with the latter, it’s her sense of vitality, her pride, her self-respect that’s under the gun.

To make the best of this aspect, you should make an effort not to micromanage or restrain Jane’s expression of pleasure, creativity, or the desire to relate socially to you or to others. In turn, Jane should make an effort to see the practical usefulness or wisdom of what you have to contribute, when you pipe up about such matters. It might be easy for her to feel like you’re raining on her parade, when you have strategies or wisdom that could help her succeed.

Suppose Jane wants to compose an album’s worth of music, or she wants to host a big charity event. Wishing won’t make it so. In order to succeed, she’ll need to muster self-discipline and organization to pull it off. She’ll need to put time into composing or meeting with volunteers, even when she might prefer to kick back and relax. You can help her do that, if she’ll accept your help rather than getting defensive. Likewise, if you have any tendencies to be a workaholic or control freak, then Jane can help you loosen your grip on life a bit, and let have a little more fun without feeling guilty or worrying that you’ll lose control. Perhaps she could take the lead in making sure you two have fun vacations or nights on the town, while you could make sure that you two “take care of business.”

Jane’s Venus squares your Uranus.

Venus likes gentle, soothing experiences and a sense of connection. She’s diplomatic. Uranus likes breath-taking innovation, exciting change and lots of freedom. Imagine these two on the dance floor, trying to move together. He’s willing to be controversial. Venus wants touch dancing, perhaps a waltz, and lot of togetherness, with frequent breaks to cool off and enjoy a little champagne. Uranus wants to freestyle it, with lots of time apart to mingle and meet lots of new people.

We can use this metaphor to get at a dynamic in your relationship with Jane. Imagine that you two are hosting a party, complete with dinner and dancing. Jane provides the Venusian sensibilities, and you contribute your Uranian tastes. Who’s going to get his or her way at the party? Will you stick by Jane’s side so much that you feel like you’re part of a two-person chain gang? Will Jane see you across the room, mingling with all sorts of people, and feel abandoned?

No one likes to feel neglected. No one likes to feel suffocated. For you and Jane, the differences in what you each need to feel neither neglected nor suffocated can become a source of conflict. To have a reasonably good time at the party, you’ll need to compromise around these differences with each other. Jane will have to respect your need for freedom of movement, without jumping to the conclusion that you won’t come back to her later in the evening. Just because you want to spend some time alone, doing your own thing, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re brushing her off or slamming her values. You’ll need to remember that, if you’re going to host a party with someone else, that means creating something that will satisfy both of you. You’ll need to trust that Jane will be fair in how she approaches your tastes. If you’re dead set on everything going your way, then you’ll have to limit yourself to hosting parties alone. That might be simpler, but it could also be lonelier. 

Your Venus squares Jane’s Jupiter.

Venus is into building and maintaining a sense of connectedness, and Jupiter is the eternal optimist of the planets. There’s a general pleasantness to both Venus and Jupiter, so even a square aspect between them isn’t generally as challenging as one involving any two other planets. With this Venus-Jupiter square, there’s a sense that your relationship has promise, but for you to realize it, you’ll need to make allowances for each other’s imperfections. Otherwise, you could go through cycle of boom and bust, first having higher and higher hopes and then being disappointed when they aren’t realized. Keep in mind that no single person can make your lives entirely fulfilled. 

Jane’s Venus trines your Pluto.

By nature, Venus and Pluto are very different. Venus is mild and likes to keep matters pleasant. Pluto is intense and fiercely honest, even if the truth takes a lot of psychological courage to look at. In this instance, though, the two form a naturally supportive connection, and that bodes well for drawing on both of these styles effectively. It’s Jane’s Venus that’s involved, so she stands to teach you some valuable lessons about relating to others and loosening up: being courteous and patient, having a sense of humor, choosing when to bring up touch subjects. Likewise it’s your Pluto that’s involved, so you stand to help Jane confront some of life’s touchier subjects, to help her communicate more honestly rather than dancing around issues or being naive. She might not always be thrilled at the prospect, but it can increase her satisfaction in the long run. You can help Jane look at patterns of how she relates to people, based on both the past and the present, and this can pave the way for her to act in a more conscious way to get her social needs met.

Your Venus trines Jane’s Mars.

The way that you attract others to you and the way that Jane pursues someone that she’s interested in tend to fit like a hand in a glove. You may find that she tends toward making overtures or taking the lead, while you tend to play a more reactive role, whether it’s by being receptive to her signals or being cool to them. This aspect contributes some sexual chemistry, linking the principles of arousal and pleasure, spontaneity and comfort.

Jane’s Venus sextiles your Neptune.

Venus and Neptune are both naturally romantic and inclined to see matters in a positive light. With this stimulating Venus-Neptune connection between you, there’s some potential to enjoy a romantic glow and to connect on a deeper level than just candlelight, wine, and song, too. That’s because Neptune represents spiritual values and dimensions of life, such as compassion and mysticism. This helps Jane find your spiritual outlook appealing somehow. It also helps you bring a touch of otherworldliness, inspiration and grace to her creative and social self-expression. A Venus-Neptune connection is a delicate, gentle thing. It requires time to blossom and unfold, so you’ll need to allow time and space for that to happen. It’s not the sort of thing that you can hurry or force. Given the potential for you two to have high hopes, you should also be careful not to expect magic on demand. Moments of feeling connected on a spiritual level can be wonderful, but the universe doesn’t provide them on a particular schedule.