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FOR JOHN SMITH AND JANE DONE

by Brian Habit

OTHER ASPECTS THAT INVOLVE YOUR CORE OR JANE’S CORE

Now that we’ve considered connections between your Sun/Moon/Ascendant and the same points in Jane’s chart, let’s take a look at other interaspects that involve any of these points.

Jane’s Ascendant opposes your Venus.

When one part of a person’s chart lies in one sign and part of the other person’s chart lies in the opposite sign, it generally indicates a potential tug-of-war. The two naturally pull in opposite directions. However, when Venus is part of such an opposition, it’s not so tense. Venus is a pleasant “let’s-get-along-and-have-a-good-time” planet. With Jane’s Ascendant opposite your Venus, it does take some effort for the two of you to communicate well. If you both fly on automatic all the time, you’re liable to misunderstand each other because of stylistic differences.

The way that you communicate your affection or your openness to being sexual (your Venus function) doesn’t always get through to Jane.  This isn’t her fault. It may seem to you that she’s being dense sometimes about this, but that’s not the case either. With your Venus in fiery, direct Aries, you’re inclined to cut to the chase. Aries is a high-energy sign. In contrast, with her Ascendant in refined, romantic Libra, Jane’s simply wired better for picking up on a message that’s sent in a gentler, candlelight-and-flowers sort of way. That’s what this connection is like if we look at it from your perspective.

If we look at it from Jane’s perspective, she might feel like she can’t act naturally around you, without you taking issue with her style. Her inclination might be to emphasize operating in a gentle and refined, romantic and courteous style, but your Arian directness and combativeness can lead to her feeling under attack or defensive about this. This can be especially sensitive when it comes to you interacting sexually.  

To deal with these issues, make a point to speak directly to each other. Don’t keep your resentments, frustrations or possible misunderstandings to yourselves. Don’t let them build up before you talk about it. Speak up, and don’t put off doing it until things have built up. This will help keep things from festering.

Your Moon sextiles Jane’s Jupiter.

Having such a Moon-Jupiter connection adds an element of good spirits and comfort to you relationship. Jane has a certain ability to lift your spirits, to make you smile. With her Jupiter in airy Gemini, she can stimulate you emotionally with ideas and information that help you feel better about yourself and what you have going for you. Maybe she asks questions that get your wheels turning, helping you to look at matters from a fresh new perspective.   

You, in turn, have a knack for nurturing Jane, for encouraging her to expand on her dreams and believe that she can achieve them. With your Moon in fiery Leo, you can show enthusiasm when she has inspirations for how to develop her communicative abilities and disseminate her message to others. You can take pride in her cleverness, intelligence, or versatility.  

Your Moon trines Jane’s Neptune.

The Moon and Neptune are both associated with imagination, intuition, and empathy. You Moon being naturally in sync with Jane’s Neptune helps the two of you relate on an intuitive level, to pick up impressions or feelings from each other without having to put them into words. That doesn’t mean that you can count on each other to be able to read your mind, to know what you’re thinking without having to verbalize it; but it does mean that you have the potential to empathize with each other and to become emotionally close, provided that you manage some of the pricklier aspects of your relationship well.

Spontaneous, creative, romantic moments can both feed your soul and help Jane feel inspired. They can help Jane cultivate her imagination, pursue her ideals and elevate her work and her communication above the mundaneness of everyday life. Situations that inspire Jane to make a leap of faith and express her imagination in new ways can help inject a satisfying sense of drama and playfulness into your life. 

Your Ascendant opposes Jane’s Neptune.

An opposition involving Neptune can make for tension between two people that is subtle yet significant. There’s something about your very presence, the general Geminian way in which you approach life, that can lead Jane to act more impulsive or scattered. It can bring out some of the more problematic aspects of her Neptune in Sagittarius. She might put her foot in her mouth more than usual, exercise poorer judgment, or tend to doubt her ability to communicate successfully more than she does otherwise. Perhaps she tends to go along with something that you have in mind initially, without thinking through the possible consequences, and then overreact later when problems come up. Maybe she’s even inclined to accuse you of trying to trick or mislead her, when that might not in fact be your intention at all. This could be downright mystifying for you.

To deal with this tension, the two of you should try to be sensitive to this potential. Try to be conscious of how it might affect the way that you relate to each other. Don’t dwell on it, but keep it in mind, and try to give each other a break. You have the capacity to be tender and supportive toward each other (indicated elsewhere), so use it. 

Jane’s Moon conjoins your Uranus, and your Moon squares Jane’s Uranus.

You and Jane have not one but two Moon-Uranus connections, and they’re not the mellowest, easiest kinds of connections, either. These make for emotional excitement in your relationship, for both of you, but you’ll both need to muster some emotional self-restraint so that the excitement will be more exhilarating and less disruptive. Otherwise, you could both feel on edge, like your life is thrown into chaos by the other person’s inclination to do whatever the heck he or she wants. You could feel provoked, like the other person is trying to fly in the face of whatever you need in order to feel emotionally at ease.

The Moon is associated with everyday habits and home life, and if you live together, then this dynamic between you could keep your domestic environment off balance. Maybe you move from one home to another unexpectedly, or there are explosive arguments or irritations that flare up unpredictably.

To keep such energy from derailing your relationship, you should both make a special effort to respect each other’s emotional needs, however irrational or uptight they might seem to you. Provoking each other won’t score any points for your relationship, even if it gives you or Jane some immediate gratification. Jane could really resent it, and it could make your blood boil. You might also try to draw on humor as a way to lessen the intensity and to maintain perspective.     

Your Moon conjoins Jane’s Saturn, and Jane’s Moon squares your Saturn.

These two Moon-Saturn connections are also very challenging, but that doesn’t mean that they’re insurmountable. If Uranus can be provocative and disruptive, then Saturn can be overbearing and frustrating.

With the Moon and Saturn, two people can slip into playing roles of critical parent and wounded, self-indulgent child with each other. Saturn can play the heavy, and the Moon can be very emotional. In this case, it’s more complex because both your Moons and both your Saturns are involved. You could take turns playing these two roles with each other, or you could play a hybrid of them with each other. Saturn is rational, stern, self-disciplined energy--“head” energy. The Moon is irrational, tender, from-the-gut “heart” energy. When one of you needs some “TLC,” some tender nurturing and kindness, the other might be inclined to judge you, to apply reason and structure to address whatever situation your feelings relate to. When one of you acts emotionally self-indulgent, touchy, or rebellious, the other might demand that you grow up and get a grip on yourself.

To keep such a disconnection from settling into a cold war, try to be patient with each other. Listen carefully to what each other is saying. Consider what your intuition tells you, too, about what the other person needs. Run that by each other for confirmation or clarification. Ask yourself how you might feel if you were in the other person’s position, but also remember that he or she is not “wired” the same way emotionally that you are.

Your Ascendant trines Jane’s Pluto.

There’s always some discomfort involved in talking about some of the touchier issues in a close relationship. Letting the other person in on more of how we tick psychologically is not most people’s idea of fun, but eventually there’s just no getting around the need to spend some time on this. This aspect indicates that you and Jane have some potential to handle such times well. In trine aspects like this one, it’s easy to take the positive potential for granted and not do much of anything with it, so you two should be careful not to let this potential go to waste. The Ascendant is associated with style and initiative, and since it’s your Ascendant here, you may often need to take the initiative to have the deeper conversations.

Jane can count on the way that she expresses her natal Pluto to become more evident just by virtue of her interacting with you. There’s something about your style that tends to get her going. It “trips the circuit” of her inclination… to use her personal power in a way that transforms other people’s lives and gives her life a powerful sense of meaning (to the extent that she’s expressing her Pluto in a healthy way),….to abuse her power and bully or terrorize others (to the extent that she’s not), …. or to do some mix of these two things.    

Your Sun squares Jane’s Uranus and vice versa.

Earlier we saw that you and Jane share a double Moon-Uranus connection. Now we see that you also share a double Sun-Uranus connection. In the case of the Moon, Uranus electrifies your inner lives. He shakes you up emotionally (and “you” means both of you here). With the Sun, Uranus electrifies your more conscious expression of energy. He challenges your ability to gratify your egos. It’s your pride and self-respect that’s on the line. Both the Sun and Uranus are self-centered, willful planets, and when the two of them are connected like this, matters can get heated when it comes to who’s doing what he or she wants. With your Suns in Aquarius, the issue of becoming two strong individuals is already important. These Sun-Uranus aspects indicate that it’s essential not to try to stifle each other’s freedom. You both need to have the freedom to pursue interests, friendships, and beliefs separately, outside of your relationship. It won’t work for you to try to move as one all the time. It won’t work to try to order each other around, to tell each other what you can and cannot do. Doing that will only increase the likelihood that you’ll rebel against each other.

Your Sun trines Jane’s Pluto and vice versa.

Pluto is that part of you that wants to transform yourself and your circumstances, that part that is prepared to do what it takes to come to terms with life’s more psychologically difficult truths. Pluto takes a penetrating look beneath the surface. He holds out for the complete truth, not some polite or palatable partial version of it. When it comes to the connections between motivations and behavior, getting to the truth can ultimately be liberating. But as anyone who has spent time in productive psychotherapy knows, the process of getting to it is sometimes draining and scary.

For you and Jane, your Suns trine each other’s Pluto. The way that you naturally express your general vitality naturally helps Jane do some serious, productive self-analysis, and the same is true in reverse. This helps the two of you feel sufficiently respected to open yourselves up to the process of looking within and sorting out what you find there. It’s easier to feel like you’re on the same side than if you did not have this connection. You’re likelier to help each other see yourselves in a more honest light, and such honesty can ultimately help you express your vitality in a more positive, full-bodied way. Since your Plutos and Suns lie in rational, idea-oriented air signs, you could help each other rationalize not looking within. You could help each other intellectualize, talk about what your experiences without engaging the feelings that are attached to those experiences, so do be careful about that.    

Your Sun sextiles Jane’s Neptune and vice versa.

You and Jane also have a reciprocal connection between your Suns and your Neptunes. Your Sun-Pluto connections have the intensity and latent power of nuclear energy or dynamite that’s just waiting to be lit, whereas your Sun-Neptune connections contribute a gentler, more soothing sort of energy, like an electric fan that’s set on low. You may not even hear a fan, but its gentle cooling power can make your life more perfect on a warm day. Likewise, you may not see visible signs of Neptune’s hand in your relationship, but he can still help you both have a more pleasant, more perfect, more spiritually satisfying experience.

You can both function as spiritual guides of sorts to each other, if you open yourselves up to that potential. At the same time, you can also help each other anchor your dreams in the material world. Both you and Jane have Neptune in Sagittarius, an impulsive, trusting mutable sign, while you have the Sun in Aquarius, a logical, stubborn fixed sign. Sometimes realizing one’s dreams in the real world requires standing firm rather than being flexible. It requires acting based on clear perception, not simply acting on inspiration or enthusiasm, and that’s part of how you can help each other out, as you go about your lives. You can help Jane apply this idea in her work or other responsibilities, in her everyday learning and communication. She, in turn, can help you apply it in your intellectual, spiritual or philosophical life, in your career or other public pursuits. 

With Neptune, there’s always some risk of trying to fool oneself into believing that it’s possible to achieve heaven on earth. Both Sagittarius and Aquarius are freedom-loving signs, so such a lack of realism could relate to the value that you place on freedom. Be careful that you don’t encourage each other to overemphasize the importance of doing what you want, when you want. Yes, freedom is a precious thing, but don’t idolize it at the expense of other considerations as you seek a more spiritually satisfying life. Other factors are important to consider, too.

Jane’s Sun opposes your Saturn.

In an opposite between two planets, they can easily bring out the worst in each other as they play a tense game of tug-of-war. If you put the two together, and give them enough rope, they can hang themselves and each other in an angry, exhausting power struggle.

In this case, Saturn can play the heavy. He can be the party pooper, the critical-parent voice of authority or control. In other words, you could treat Jane like an unruly, immature child. You could try to set limits on what she does and judge her behavior according to your own particular norms or standards. The Sun can be “me, me, me.” He can be self-absorbed, reckless, and bratty. He can act immaturely. In other words, Jane can squander a lot of energy in playing the rebellious teenager who says, “You’re not going to tell me what to do! I’ll show you!”

If you and Jane let your relationship degenerate into such a tug-of-war, then you play into each other’s negative expectations by trying to pull in the opposite direction. The more you act controlling or parental, the more willful or selfish she acts, and vice versa. You come to see each other as oversimplified, overly negative versions of who you really are, reducing each other in your minds to rigid two-dimensional characters. Once you do that, you reach a sad stalemate. It’s like in the Jackson Browne song, Tender is the Night: “You win. I win. We lose.”

To get a better outcome, make a concerted effort to find positive exceptions in each other’s behavior. For you, that means being on the lookout for times when Jane acts considerately, calmly and wisely, and appreciating it when you notice it. For Jane, than means being on the lookout for times when you act playfully, enthusiastically, spontaneously, and “giving you some credit” when she “catches you in the act.” Doing that will help you both see each other more realistically. People tend to find what they’re looking for, and if you look for positives in each other’s behavior, you’ll be likelier to find it.

Another way you could get better results would be by taking a division-of-labor approach. If the two of you expect to be in situations that call for Saturnian principles (self-control, self-discipline, delayed gratification, organization, etc.), then you and Jane could look to you to take the lead. You can make sure that the two of you act sufficiently like reasonable adults. If you expect to be in situations that call for solar principles (living in the moment, leading others, shining in the spotlight, acting self-confidently and proudly), then you and Jane could look to her to take the lead. Jane can make sure that the two of you act sufficiently childlike or like “stars.” 

Your Ascendant trines Jane’s Venus.

It’s easier to have fun, to relax and enjoy tenderness and rapport, if two people have trines to either or both of their Venuses. It’s Venus that keeps life from being all work and no play. It’s Venus that rewards our effort to make a relationship work with good times.

Here Jane’s Venus connects with your Ascendant. This aspect helps the two of you support and reassure each other. It helps you do nice things for each other and say kind words to each other. Venus also relates to the sexual dimension of a romantic relationship, so this can help you keep things from settling into a dull sameness in that department.

The most important thing with such a trine aspect is not to take it for granted. It’s easy to let such natural ease get lost in the shuffle when life gets stressful and when tempers flare. You can draw on the potential when you need it with relatively little effort, but you’ll have to appreciate what you’ve got going for you as a couple to benefit from it. Don’t let it go to waste. Take time to do things that you both enjoy together. Take time to do something nice for each other.

Your Sun conjoins Jane’s Venus.

Here’s another nice Venus aspect. Jane’s Venus lies in mid Aquarius. So does your Sun. There’s a natural similarity between the sorts of experiences that help her enjoy herself, connect with others socially, and express herself aesthetically (her Venus) and the sorts of experiences that help you respect yourself and act with self-confidence and a sense of sovereignty (your Sun). In these respects, you both run on Aquarian experiences: innovation, originality, unusual or visionary pursuits, humanitarian or scientific interests, encounters with the offbeat or the unheard-of.

This overlap makes it easier for Jane to soothe and encourage you when life hits your ego hard. For example, suppose your boss doesn’t appreciate the originality and sophistication of something that you’ve created. You come home feeling grumpy, or tense, or down on yourself. Jane can help you unwind, focus on relaxing, and honor the specialness of what you did on the project. She can help you feel appreciated. She can be like a cross between a cheerleader and a human hot tub for you.

This Sun-Venus aspect also helps you bring Jane’s Venusian potential to life. Just by being around her, you tend to shine a spotlight on her social, creative, and perhaps even erotic potential. If she’s feeling doubts about her ability to make new friends or hold on to old friendships, you can help her get beyond them. If she has doubts about her ability to shine as an artist or a social leader, you can help assuage them.